Business class, for your ass

As airlines try to outdo each other to provide premium services for their passengers, one is thinking inside the box.

In what is assumed to be both the first and last of its kind, you can now pre-order a full colonoscopy if you’re in business class on flights over 4 hours.

This service does have its drawbacks. Normal in-cabin food and drink service will be suspended until you’ve woken up after the procedure. You also have to hope that your day of prep beforehand is timed properly to not have unfortunate issues waiting in line to board.

“You’re always thinking of ways to kill time on flights anyway,” offered one Albany>San Francisco traveller who didn’t want to give his name. “So why not have medical professionals stick a sensitive tube up your ass at the same time?”

Colonoscopy service will be paused during turbulence and to let the drink cart pass in the aisle. It also must wait until the plane is 10,000 feet in the air, due to concerns about interfering with plane electronics.