Rusty Trombones is a veteran of multiple failed dotcoms and still refers to any company on the internet as a dotcom.

You’ve seen ’em. The seemingly lifeless drones wandering aimlessly through your work parking lot at the end of the day, furrowing their brows in a desperate attempt to find their cars. Some say that these people are the problem. If they’re not bright enough to find their cars, their reasoning goes, then they probably can’t do their jobs properly.

But they’re wrong.

I hire these people. I promote these people. I want to fuck these people. These are the people who’ve given so much to their jobs that by day’s end they’ve totally annihilated their personal memories and thoughts. These are the get-it-ers! I hand out my business card to every zombie I see and say call me! My team is full of them.

These people win the awards. They take the business trips to exotic locations. They exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide. They sometimes do all three things simultaneously.

Epilogue

In spite of what others think, I don’t believe that these zombies will one day rise up and overthrow me. Zombies feast on brains, another reason I’m not personally worred about my safety.