Rusty Trombones is a dotcom veteran who, like all veterans, either only talks about those experiences or never does.

“Don’t blame the pigeon for shitting on your head.” My boss told me that one morning, when I walked into the office with pigeon shit on my head. I mean, that is the likeliest reason someone would say something like that first thing in the morning. Apart from maybe getting, like, mayonnaise from your sandwich in your hair. But the last time you made your own sandwich was when the hired help was in some temporary immigration limbo and you two were alone in a cabana on the Mayan coast. Or perhaps semen. Yeah, that could explain it as well. Better to go with the pigeon shit.

When someone gives you a freebie, like mistaking semen or mayonnaise with pigeon shit, sometimes it’s best to just accept it. We’re not always quick in the moment about deciding which is worse.