Car sharing service Ottokar wishes to remind the press and the general public that most trips do not end in molestation, theft, or murder.

“You just hear disproportinate fear mongering stories about people violently attacked by one of our untrained and unmonitored drivers,” observed the VP of No Molestings, who declined to give his name for personal safety reasons. “You never hear stories about the majority of people who aren’t molested and just got to their destination frazzled.”

When asked for a good title for this article, the VP offered, “Think of all the people who weren’t sexually assaulted or murdered in our cars!” Positive thinking, people!