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Paws in cement and other pandemic moments
Categories life

Midwesterner Misses COVID Food Trends

  • Estimated read time 1 min read

Combination of food scarcity and celebrity pretentiousness created perfect avalanche of bullshit food crazes

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All logins blocked
Categories tech

IT Successfully Stops All Logins

  • Estimated read time 1 min read

CIO envisions fantastic IT newsletter update.

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Man gets fresh perspective from pre-bloodied urinal
Categories life

Kohler Comfort

  • Estimated read time 1 min read

Man gets fresh perspective from pre-bloodied urinal.

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Destroyer of kid dreams
Categories life

Washer Soils Kids’ Dreams

  • Estimated read time 1 min read

Children can no longer do their beloved clothes washing.

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You set her up for the life of povery. You, Ewan.
Categories jobs

You Done Fucked Up, Ewen

  • Estimated read time 2 min read

Murdered by his stinginess.

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Categories life

World’s Smallest Problem Identified

  • Estimated read time 1 min read

Sounds about white.

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It's all cake
Categories food

Do You Know the Muffin Man?

  • Estimated read time 2 min read

You don't layoff the muffin man.

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Old school snowmobile dropping off its victims
Categories commentary

Commentary: Rusty Trombones’ Fab Five Managerial Mantras

  • Estimated read time 3 min read

And listen to Grand Funk Railroad. The Funk!

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Maybe die next time if you want to be remembered.
Categories commentary

Commentary: Memorial Commemorating Event Too Inconsequential

  • Estimated read time 2 min read

At least be dead if you’re going to demand a moment’s attention! When I used to drive down Route 6, I often became saddened…

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Poor sightlines of non-promising house
Categories life

Man Misses Leering of His Youth

  • Estimated read time 2 min read

Windows are the eyes to the sole woman living in close proximity.

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