CIO Gloats About Hacker-Proof Systems that have stopped all worker productivity.

“We haven’t had one suspect entry,” crowed Midwestern CIO Dean Fahtsby, following the deployment of the most advanced 2FA authentication ever produced. “That’s the headline for the next widely-anticipated IT newsletter!”.

When it was pointed out that staff can’t access critical systems either and that the CEO is on line one, Fahtsby replied, “Print the newsletter to people’s inbox holes and suppress that last part! I’ll be in Bolivia!”

When it was pointed out that emails are not, in fact, printed, Fahtsby unsuccessfully tried to disappear in a cloud of smoke. The dry ice he thought he had purchased was actually a chicken parm sandwich.