For those tired of being informed

Technology continues to advance in ways that amaze and fascinate. Some make life so much easier that you wonder how you lived without it. Others, like this one, make you wonder whether the inventors were simultaneously kicked in the head by syphillitic mules.

“It used to be so boring, getting key weather data points immediately instead of reading random sort of related prose from the late 1800s instead,” said librarian Cecil Peacock. “But my friends realized I would rather spend hours deciphering old fiction to try and figure out whether I should pack an umbrella. They know me so well!”